I think I'm going to give up on this concert. I am far too insecure to let myself have a good time, I suppose. But that's okay -- I'm working on it.
While going through the suggested artists based off Now Now, I re-discovered Say Hi and haven't stopped listening to this song since. I remember when I first heard it, I hated it because the chorus made me feel really uncomfortable and all mixed up inside. It might have been the off-tone he yells it or maybe just the fact that I really really hate spiders.
My grandma and grandpa visted the other day. Seeing her and her illness progress is probably the hardest thing I've ever went through. I want to keep strong for my mom so I don't let it show, but today she came out and told me she was up all night crying because she knew my grandma wouldn't be there to see me graduate from college, she won't be there on my wedding day, she won't meet my kids -- and after she was done listing all the things my grandma wouldn't be here to see through tears, it really hit me hard.
When she visited the other day, she was herself and that is someone I never thought I'd see again. She hugged me and brought all of this food for us, she gave us a very fancy coffee maker and a bunch of my favorite granola bars. It was nice. The shades in the living room get all screwed up if you try to open them, and my grandma being stubborn proceeded to spend 2 hours trying to fix them, even after we had said several times that they're simply cheap and broken. I haven't seen my grandma be that stubborn in a very long time, and it was touching in a way even though that sounds real dumb.
I don't really know what else to write so I'll end it here.
